I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
