you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
