so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize