He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
