i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
