; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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