You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We got so high we made milksteak
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
