If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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