those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
