they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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