I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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