you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
