come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I intend to get homeless drunk
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
