this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
