i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
