Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
where does the pee come out of this thing
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize