Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
