If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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