if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
