just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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