Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
