where am i from again
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The ass gains better be worth it
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
