the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize