tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
