your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
