We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
