I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
either way he was missing a nipple.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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