you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
