Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
