Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
