i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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