Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
