Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
