He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
