He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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