my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
