Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I looked at my own cervix.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
