so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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