Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
