..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
