So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize