Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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