the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
