Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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