It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
