We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Oh god it's open bar.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
