there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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