please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
