dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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