I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
