Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
