PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
