Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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