Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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