zippers are such a cool invention
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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