Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
