What a fucking waste of an outfit
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
