So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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