i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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