I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
