i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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