hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
