New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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