You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
