I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
