addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
