It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
