i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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