Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How does it feel to date your dad?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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