Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
