Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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