chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Girls should come with a carfax report
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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