I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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