I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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