i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
