addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize