you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
