I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
