Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
