My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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