I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
