Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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